WHILE Singaporeans continue to gag and choke on clouds of acrid smoke billowing from Sumatra, Indonesia minister Agung Laksono’s helpful advice is, in effect, ‘shut up and grow a pair’.
“Singapore should not be behaving like a child and making all this noise,” the minister coordinating Indonesia’s response, told reporters. “This is not what the Indonesian nation wants, it is because of nature.”
By ‘nature’ I can only assume he means the wood of the matchstick which sparks the flames igniting the diesel poured over forests to cheaply clear them for more palm oil plantations – to better line pockets all the way up the food chain.
Quit whining – AP photo
While Laksono was tutting,Singapore’s air pollution index hit a new record high, soaring to 401 by Friday lunchtime. Any reading above 300 is “hazardous” while a reading above 400 is deemed “life-threatening to ill and elderly people,” according to NEA guidelines.
But sssssshhhhhh, don’t make a fuss, right Laksono?
Some outdoor leaving drinks I’ve planned for tonight may now be less festive than they could have been, I guess… Perhaps I should theme them an Apocalypse Party.
DRESS CODE FOR DRINKS
And here’s what it looks like.
WOODLANDS TO WATERLOO 